Hair and Sin
by Dragon-chama
Summary: Bull loves her hair, but he loves her too. No way he is letting her shave it. And some fluff I didn't expect. Couldn't stop myself. F!Travelyan/Iron Bull romance.


"That hair" was the first thing Bull thought to himself when he saw the Herald of Andraste. That young and beautiful ex-Circle mage had the most beautiful red color he had ever seen in his life. It was a dark red, red like blood, not like the spymaster's red. And her hair was long, reaching half way to her back and dancing beautifully to the light breeze of the storm coast. After the "that hair" thought came another one, slightly dirtier. Made him grin at the time. She walked towards him, tilted her head in wonder to the grin and said "The Iron Bull, I presume".

It was a nice evening in Skyhold. Bull was sitting like always in his chair in the back of the tavern. He was drinking in peace, watching the chargers play cards and yell loudly at each other a few tables away, glancing at the serving girls from time to time. That new blonde that arrived two days ago had been eyeing him intently. He wasn't in the mood, but he was thinking about making his move sometime soon.

He had been feeling an intense want of the inquisitor since the time she had eyed him with that cold gaze she gave at her prisoners when she was sitting judgement, the moment he had told her he was a Qunari spy. Her words that time had sent shivers down his spine. No woman had talked to him like that before. "Your reports always pass through Leliana. You send nothing she doesn't approve. You ever do anything to compromise our operations, Cassandra will eat you alive. After I toast you whole. Don't make me regret this", she had said and had turned her back to him, heading to Haven with her party. "Wouldn't have it any other way" he had managed to say, amused, eye lighting up. He had found a rare gem.

He was happy for the oportunity to talk to her, even if it meant going through the Qunari customs and beliefs. She was really interested in knowing about them and that was the only topic they discussed during their time in Haven. Slowly and in time, she grew less weary in his presence, taking him with her to missions, taking his opinion to consideration. It was nice. When they moved to Skyhold, she would let him see her tired self, her funny self, her drunk self. She was special and she trusted him.

But whenever weird and dirty comments and jokes broke out, she would back out. He had understood for some time now. She didn't think she could work with a Qunari. He had proven her wrong. She had called him an ally, a companion, a friend. But she would never let him in her bed. She didn't look for romance anywhere else but in humans. Some Andrastian belief the crazed and fanatic cleric at her Circle's chappel had pushed into her, no doubt. But she was a faithful Andrastian and that's what she believed.

And then he saw her flirting with the warden. Blackwall had mustered his courage and finally made the first step. She had responded quite beautifully, gigling and looking away from time to time as if suddenly embarassed. HE was the first to notice what she needed. He was ready to meet her needs anytime but he knew that if it came from him at a wrong time, she would have killed him on the spot. He was ready offer himself to her, but he was too late. The boss was a beatiful woman, that much was obvious, but none of Skyhold's residents was brave enough to make their interest known. Until know.

He sucked it up then, accustomed himself to her not appearing that often to speak with him to spend time with Blackwall. She didn't even include him in her party as much as she used to. Had him replaced by HIM. But he was a Ben-Hasrath, he knew better than feel resentment against him or her. He understood and was standing aside. But he couldn't bed the serving girls like he used to.

As he was sitting there in the tavern, having his trunkard filled by the blonde who was smiling and licking her lips eagerly to his side, Sera ran in the tavern in sweat, her hair messy and she hadn't bathed yet. The inquisitior's party must have come back. She was looking around in panic and when she spotted him she ran and grabbed his shoulders. Bull looked at her surprised. "You HAVE to help me!" she screamed at him, practically deafening him for a minute and making the blonde abandon her quest and continue her work. "What's wrong?", he asked after he regained his composure and took a long sip from his drink. Sera looked at him, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She eyed him again and with a clear voice told him,"The Inquisitor plans to shave her head".

Sera liked women. She was fascinated by the Inquisitor but never made it known. She also loved that red hair as much as Bull did. Bull was pacing out the tavern with Sera on his heels. "Why shave her hair!?" he had asked her after spitting his ale in her face, disbelief in his voice. Sera brushed her hand on her face to take the liquid away. "A big wind came while we were killing darkspawn in the western approach and it tangled her hair in front of her face. Then Cassandra took a blow because she was counting on a barrier that never came. Because of Arya's temporary blindess due to her hair. Cass didn't blame her but when she asked us if she had to shave her head so that it never happens again, Blackwall and Cassandra told her to do it! I changed my mind about him. Blackwall is a jerk, not cool at ALL!".

They found the Inquisitor heading towards the armory to get the appropriate tool. Maybe a Vivienne hairstyle was what she was thinking. She stopped and looked puzzled as she saw them pacing panicked towards her. Bull grabbed her shoulder and eyed her down, massive as he was, and pointed his finger at her. "Don't. Even. THINK. About. It",he said as he stared at her. Sera behind him nodded her head in approval.'The boss looked puzzled' would barely describe her face.

"A shaved head could only benefit me. I put Cassandra's faith in me in question because of this dump weight on my shoulders! Looks aren't everything" she said after regaining her calm face. Sera snapped. "A ponytail! Tie them up!" she screamed beside Bull who was still holding her. The boss shooked her head. "It's too long. Won't work. And I don't want to cut them just a little. I want it gone!" she said, resentment in her voice.

Bull could see it now. She was so proud about what she had accomplished. Her relationship with her troops and especially with her party members was something no leader had achieved before. She felt responsible and couldn't forgive herself for failing to do her task and put one of her friends in danger. She hated that beautiful hair of hers now. He let go of her shoulder then and took a big breath. He took her by the hand and led her to Cassandra's chair by the training dummies. She resisted at first but eventually followed him, curious. Sera was trailing behind them, wonder in her face.

He seated her on the chair and got on his knees behind her. Sera mantained a distance and watched with intrigue. Bull had it under control. The boss didn't speak, trying to figure out the Bull took her hair from her shoulders and let them fall on her back. It had grown slightly longer since the last time he had taken a good look at her. He smiled a bit sadly, thankful she had her back turned to him. He combed it with his big fingers, feeling it slip from them like silk. Such a beautiful red for such a beatuful and fiery woman. It suit her.

"Saying your goodbyes?" she said gigling. How long had it been since he had heard her giggle for him? He let go then only to take it again and divide it in three rows. And he started braiding it for her. She stopped laughing then and tensed a bit. Surprise, no doubt about it. Sera in the background was looking at them wide eyed. "You know how to braid!?" she said amused. Bull smiled at the elf explaining.

"One of the Tamasrans who raised me had long silver hair. She would braid the hair of the others, but she sucked at braiding her own hair. She wanted to have her hair braided in this amazing way only she knew, but she didn't want to give away her secret. She must have thought I was trustworthy, for she taught me how to do it on her hair. 'This will be our secret', she would tell me, and I braided her hair everyday, never giving the secret away".

He smiled again and fell silent. The Inquisitor shifted a bit. "A braid won't do either. Too long. It will be a hinder,still" she said and tried standing up. The Bull gritted his teeth and yanked at her hair, not allowing her to stand up. "This one is special" he said with a voice he swore he wouldn't use at her, deep and like a whisper, like his bed talk. She tensed by his voice and breath so close to her ear and didn't protest anymore, waiting for the result. Sera had left now. Bull had it all under control.

He continued his work, cherishing the minutes they passed in silence so close to one another. The courtyard was almost empty, like they were in another world. He had missed her. Her laugh, her smile, her cocky look when se won at cards, her questions, everything. She felt so distant now, closed to herself. Or perhaps she had just shut him out. She didn't complain about things with him, didn't get drunk with him. Spent most of her time in the stables or her quarters.

The braid was almost done. The trick was a big twist at the top that would make her hair that heavy so it wouldn't roam in the wind easily. It only worked because her hair was that long. He tied it and let go of it. The boss stood up and swing her hair as much as she could. To her surprise, the hair didn't bother her at all. She looked amazed at The Bull, speechless. The Bull smiled and stood up, overshadowing her, and looked into her eyes. She looked serious then and stared back at him. A minute passed and none of them said a word, just stared, oblivious to the rest of the world.

He couldn't tell what she was thinking. He couldn't read her easily before, but now it was just impossible. She opened her mouth and let out a 'Thank you' then. She smiled, a smile she had only shown him once, when he called her Kadan while drunk after their dragon fight. The one and only time he did. She hadn't asked for the meaning and he didn't want to give it to her. It was in the heat of the moment, he wasn't thinking, but he knew he meant it. Could she have known the meaning though? Maybe the Tevinter mage had told her. Was that the reason she had distanced herself from him?

He look puzzled for a moment and her expression changed. She looked around, suddenly anxious, opened her mouth hesitant, trying to bring out words, looked at him with an unsure gaze. His eye lit up and he waited patiently for her. If she needed him, he would take her, give her everything, but it must be what she needs. And she must know it. She closed her mouth again and looked at her feet. He knew he was breaking his own rules, but he couldn't stop himself. He took her hand and pressed it on his chest, squeezing it. She looked up at him again, her grey eyes glowing. He gave her the most tender look he ever gave anyone, looking at her straight in the eyes. "It's okay, Arya", he whispered with that deep voice of his again . She blushed hard, her lips parted in surprise. It had always been 'Inquisitor' or 'Boss', but never her first name. She opened her mouth again. Voice came out of her throat, almost a word-.

"Arya, you won't shave your hair?", a rough voice yelled. It was Blackwall. He grew closer to them after ascending the stairs leading to the upper courtyard. Bull recognised the voice, the threat, but didn't break eye contact with her, eye still looking into her own. She stood there, her voice stopped on it's tracks. Her eyes widened, still looking at his, her mind took millions of turns. It was a moment of decision. He knew. Blackwall drew closer.

He was coming closer and she was anxious. Then, she was about to break eye contact. If she did, he had lost her. She was on the brink, but her eyes were still locked in his, her palm feeling the warmth and heartbeat. She had her back to Blackwall's direction so she couldn't see. She heard the footsteps growing closer and closer. Footsteps sounding to slow down. Almost in range. "Arya?", the voice again, but this time not a yell.

She lost herself then and tried to yank her hand away from his chest. That was her decision. The Bull knew. He had to accept it. She didn't need him. The Ben-Hasrath in him was yelling at him to back off. But 'The Iron Bull' didn't want to. Couldn't. He caught her hand again,puting it back on his chest, squeezing it harder and whispered, "Please, Kadan".

"Something wrong, Bull?", Blackwall asked, now at his side. Arya's eyes were on the ground for a while now, her hand on his chest. She raised her eyes then, looked at Blackwall and smiled. "Bull thought there was something wrong with his heartbeat or something. It seems fine to me" she said and laughed, Blackwall's gaze softened. Bull let go of her hand then, but still looked at her, even if she didn't look at him. She stepped aside and let Blackwall put a hand around her waist. She turned and faced The Bull again, a playful smile on her face. "I'll be counting on you to fix my hair in the morning, Bull", and she walked away with Blackwall.

Bull didn't drink, didn't eat, didn't invite anyone to his room. Just went up the stairs. Krem knew better than to say anything. Sera looked at him sadly from her room. "Blackwall is a jerk...", she whispered. He seemed fine to others, but not to the men and women he trusted with his life and knew him better than anyone. He went into his room, fell on his back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. What was that feeling, he wondered. He wanted to scream and destroy everything in his way. He felt a rage he had never felt before. Why? What was it? And then it struck him. The Iron Bull wanted her, craved for her. But she was a friend. Qunari don't sleep with their friends. He loved her but it had to be as a friend. That's what she wanted. That's what she needed. That was right. Ah, but yes. How could he not see it? It was apparent on the Storm Coast back then. The Ben-Hasrath part of him was dying. He had to get back on track. He decided then. He would bed the blonde. Fuck her until she can't breath, until she begs for mercy. Yes, and everything would be okay again. He would-

The door opened, throwing him away from his thoughts. He looked surprised when he saw the Inquisitor standing with her back against the door. She didn't even knock. He didn't say anything to her. She didn't either. Finally he spoke. "How can I help, Inquisitor?", a Qunari Ben-Hasrath again. She looked at him then and straightened her back, taking a few steps towards him. She stopped and looked at him that cold gaze she gave at her judgements. Just like back then.

"I need you to help me sin", she said and took off her shirt.

And the Ben-Hasrath in him died.


End file.
